That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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