you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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