Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just had sex on a roof
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
