...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
