The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
