Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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