is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
