Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
