So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
