i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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