wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
