I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
