thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
