coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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