I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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