Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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