mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
