Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
