I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
