don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
