Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
