I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
