I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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