very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
