Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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