Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
