She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
