we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
