I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Every concussion has its silver lining
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
