her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
