i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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