No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Success! We fucked roommates!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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