How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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