Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
