who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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