how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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