do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
