I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
