Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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