We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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