So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
