office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
