And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
