So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
