And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
