You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
