I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
