Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
