if i can run in heels then i can drive
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So many bounce houses so little time
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
