I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
