Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
