I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
