Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
